A venomous and subtle enemy .
It covers us in sentences like:
‘Not good enough’
‘Not pretty enough’
In other words:
‘You are not supposed to be here’
‘You don’t fit in’
As a lovely baby blanket it seems to hide your ugly wound of consistent denial.
The blanket gives beautiful idea’s and solutions to hide the deep and filthy wound.
‘Go do something else’, ‘they are stupid’, ‘You don’t need them’, ‘I am independent’, ‘God helps me, people cannot’, ‘I don’t need people’.
It feels like a lovely blanket.
Warm and safe.
Peacefully you can close your eyes and hide yourself from truth, friends, family, the world and God.
The only thing we don’t know is that the blanket of shame is seethrough.
People that want to see our personality are able to see the wound.
Maybe in a more subtle way.
Maybe in a more enlarged way.
They might feel our hurting attitude.
Our covering attitude. Our arrogant attitude.
Either way the wound is visible.
The idea’s and solutions that shame gives us are pure lies.
‘Creative’ ways to hide yourself.
The more lies, the bigger and heavier the blanket gets.
The heavier the blanket, the uglier the wound gets.
It starts to swear, to kindle, smell and to fester.
The wound starts hurting more, the blanket gets heavier.
The attitude of hiding gets stronger and denial on denial is inevitable.
Healing gets no entrance into the blanket of shame.
When you finally lift up a little piece of the blanket and gasp for breath.
When you finally feel that the blanket is getting to heavy.
When you finally want to give the wound some air.
When you finally discover that you start to choke,
under the heavy,
the blanket gets a voice:
‘Don’t do it. They really do not want to see or help you’.
‘They have a enough trouble of their own’
‘Don’t burden them with your problems’
‘When they discover who you truly are it is finished’
‘Stay where you are, this is the only safe place, they don’t really want to see you, or help you’
‘Just stop it, it’s better you are not here. They don’t want you’.
Mean sad lies
But we listen
Fastly we pull the blanket over our heads and hide in our semi safe place.
Jesus is Truth.
Truth hurts sometimes.
Like salt or alcohol on a wound.
But it cleans and heals.
He is righteous, honest and forgiving.
How do we allow Him in our blanket of shame?
The blanket is big,
the shame so heavy,
the pain so deep.
We need Your courage and strength Lord.
That power of God in which you were risen from death.
That same power can certainly throw of that heavy blanket of shame
and heal our old and filthy wounds.